A recent survey showed that the number of adults who wish to terminate their relationship has tripled from 2% in December 2019 to 7% in May 2020. Another poll from United Kingdom found that 23% of UK adults are experiencing relationship pressures during lockdown.
Being close to someone is not always a matter of spatial proximity rather more about the efforts that we make to feel close, to be more present, warm and genuine in our relationships. Lockdown has certainly strengthened some relationships with more affection and care whereas some of them have been damaged or lost their priority. Many have struggled to support their partner physically as well as emotionally during lockdown. The pandemic has unconsciously influence people to re-evaluate life, including their relationships, profession and existential being. The sudden change in lifestyle has disrupted one’s sense of living in a manner that neither interpersonal nor intrapersonal challenges can be ignored. The complaints of loneliness, anger, frustration, boredom, depression, post-traumatic stress, and health-related fear have been escalated due to prolonged quarantine. During these highly sensitive and vulnerable situations, it perfectly makes sense to struggle with crumbling relationships.
What are the signs?
The minor changes in the behavior or shifts in moods towards your partner can be an alarming signal. The feelings of disconnection and emotional turmoil may lead your relationship to stagnation. Yet, you are not all alone. Here are some factors that can help in identifying whether your relationship is in ‘Lockdown’-
Unrealistic Expectations
While discoursing about therapeutic approach, Fritz Peris started with the Gestalt prayer, “I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.” It is certainly difficult to be perfect during this highly struggling period of life. Demanding happiness or dependence for comfort from your partner may cost his/her peace of mind. Such unrealistic expectations can result in controlling behavior, sense of humiliation or widening the gap between partners.
Boredom
Boredom is obvious while quarantined as people are unable to use their potential to the utmost. Also, this lockdown has made people to live in ‘forced togetherness’ and due to the constant presence of each other, the relationship may have become emotionally and physically monotonous. This boredom can often lead the partners to crave for a gap or a change and the absence of it can be frustrating wherein one maybe compelled to think of damaging the relationship in some or the other way.
Discontentment
The early days of any relationship feels like love is in the air but as the time passes, the charm seemingly flies away. The lack of expression of love, inhibitions to share emotions or using excessive defense for not having time for the spouse may fill the relationship with discontentment. Often emotional discontentment is backed by sexual discontentment or vice versa. These unmet expectations unlatch the door of dissatisfaction between couples.
Work from Home
A sudden transition from workplace to work from home is the result of COVID-19 pandemic. It affected people in several ways. The line between personal and professional life has been blurred. The excessive online presence has brought disorganization not only at professional front but maintaining home and managing children/family as well. For long term partners, a daily rut often provides breathers and avenues between them especially in cases of heat arguments or disagreements. But as one of the partners or both are working from home along with other household chores and responsibilities blended with the mandate of managing the residence without external support, it becomes difficult to let go or resolve the disagreement and take a break from arguments. This when escalated on daily basis drifts towards adjustment crisis affecting relationships.
Communication Gap
Men and women speak different languages. Handling those differences and disagreements is the most challenging task. Blame-games, insensitive or disrespectful arguments are nothing more than the results of communication gap as silence builds fences between people. Not every emotion can be expressed in words but it is also true that everything cannot be understood in silence. The absence of lucid conversations may bring the flood of misunderstandings resulting into major conflicts.
Takeaway Message
The intensity of the circumstances has possibly magnified the little issues present in the relationship pre-lockdown. But giving up on your relationship during this highly endangered situation doesn’t look perfect. Struggles come to polish the strength within you. Identify the torn pieces, initiate the healing process and improvise the wounded partnership.
With permission posted from
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