“Blowing out someone’s candle won’t make you shine any brighter.” - Unknown
Bullying is the use of coercion, force, threat, teasing, etc. to abuse, intimidate, or dominate someone without being provoked by them who is usually considered inferior by the bully. This behavior is usually habitual, and may persist for a certain amount of time. One major prerequisite in bullying is a power imbalance. The power imbalance occurs when the person being bullied lacks social, physical, etc. power as compared to the bully.
Characteristics of bullying
Bullying is one of the most common forms of aggressive behavior, and it is characterized by:
Hostile Intent: Bullies usually don’t have people’s best interests in mind, and often intend to inflict harm upon their victims.
Power Imbalance: Bullies use their power, for example, popularity to hurt others. They usually attack people who are usually helpless, and would not be able to fight back.
Repetition over some time: Bullying is usually not an incident that only happens once, but rather something that can happen multiple times.
Types of bullying
Verbal bullying: Verbal bullying involves using words to hurt someone’s feelings. This type of bullying includes name-calling, eve-teasing, or sexual comments, threatening, teasing, and taunting.
Social bullying: Social bullying is also referred to as relational bullying, and involves hurting people’s relationships or reputations. This type of bullying includes spreading rumors about someone, excluding someone on purpose, making a person embarrassed in public, telling other kids to not be friends with someone, etc.
Physical bullying: Physical bullying involves causing harm to a person by hurting them physically, or taking their objects or possessions. This type of bullying includes Spitting, kicking, punching, hitting, pushing, making rude gestures, breaking someone’s things, etc.
Cyberbullying: Cyberbullying involves bullies using social media to say things they might be too afraid to say in person. This type of bullying includes sending rude texts, posting insults about someone publicly on social media, making insulting comments on their posts, harassing them on the private message feature, etc.
Reactive bullying: Reactive bullying involves the bully retaliating or rebelling against being a former victim by inflicting the same harm on others. This type of bullying includes the victim transforming into a bully in the hopes of revenge.
Effects of bullying
Having trouble focusing on schoolwork
Having issues with energy level, mood, appetite, and sleep.
Feeling anxious, afraid, depressed, and stressed.
In worst-case scenarios, the bullied person may harm themselves or have suicidal thoughts.
Bullies are more likely to get involved in delinquent behavior in the future.
People who were bullied as children will have trouble maintaining a social circle in their adulthood.
In workplace bullying, victims will most likely get less work satisfaction, will take more leaves of absence, and will have poor job performance.
Who can be a bully?
Bullies are indeed stereotyped as being stronger and more muscular. People might also assume that bullies will be older than you. Anyone can be a bully without realizing it. Bullying doesn’t only happen in childhood, but can also continue into adulthood. They are well-connected to peers, and have more social power.
Who is at risk of being bullied?
People who are bullied usually have these features:
They are seen as weak, and unable to defend themselves. This makes them an easy target for bullies.
They are diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or have low self-esteem which would make them believe that they deserve to be bullied.
They are seen as different from others because of looking different, being over or underweight, being new to the environment, not wearing clothes that are deemed as ‘cool’.
They are not popular, and usually don’t speak unless spoken to and keep to themselves. They may also not have that many friends.
They may be social outcasts, be seen as weird, abnormal, or annoying.
It is not necessary that if a person has these features that they will be bullied, but there may be an increased risk.
How to prevent bullying?
When bullying occurs in schools, some important steps can be taken by the parents, teachers, and other responsible adults. These steps are:
Help kids point out bullying: If kids understand and identify what bullying is, it would mean that they are more likely to realize when it occurs to them or someone they know. Give them examples from real life and ask them if they or someone they know have ever faced similar incidents.
Encourage kids to speak up: Develop trust with your kids, and make sure that the child can be comfortable with you when they want to talk about potentially getting bullied. Encourage the kid to report bullying. Always be open to communication with them.
Tell them strategies of staying safe: You can try telling kids that they should be with a trusted group of friends and adults so that they do not get targeted. Tell them that they should not try to deliberately provoke their bullies for revenge either.
Tell them to treat people with kindness: If they see someone else being bullied, ask them to be kind to that person and help them out so that they do not feel lonely.
Give tips on how to stand up to bullies: You can tell children that bullies are usually looking for a reaction from people, and would probably leave if you do not pay them attention. It is to be noted though, that this could also backfire. Different situations would require different ways of reacting.
Conclusion
Bullying is unfortunately commonplace, but, at the very same time, it should not be normalized as a phase of life everyone should go through at least once. Most of the time, people do not realize they have been bullied or that they bullied someone. This is why it is the need of the hour to spread awareness about bullying so people can know if it is happening in their surroundings, and can take the most appropriate action in that situation. Parents should also take care, and be a good influence and example on their kids, so that they do not potentially become bullies. It is to be noted that bullies can also change over time so all hope is not lost for them if a person realizes that they are a bully. There are ways in which this person can try to work on their personality, so that they do not harm others in the future.
References
stopbullying.gov https://www.stopbullying.gov/bullying/what-is-bullying
medicinenet.com https://www.medicinenet.com/bullying/article.htm
kidshealth.org https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bullies.html
psychologytoday.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bullying?amp
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