"Owning our story, and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do." - Brené Brown
Manav, an employee residing in the lower urban part of the city strives to be perfect at his workplace. He believes that perfection is the formula to live a whole-hearted life. Manav forgets that he's a human and disgraces his flaws, trying to make an ideal self-image. And lately, this has taken a toll on his mental health and family. He returns home with frustration, and finds everything very weary. He is unstable, physically and mentally, and as a result, his personal, and professional relationships have been collapsing. He wonders what makes his life so unhappy even though he is striving so hard to be perfect at everything.
Just like Manav, we too wish to live a fulfilling life, a life that has no thorns or dry roses. Since childhood, the idea of being flawless is lauded, even though no human being can be perfect.
Introduction
To live a wholehearted life, which is a process, we work. We work tirelessly to earn money, which we believe is the resource to meet our unending materialistic pleasures. Life's journey is not about being the best, it's about being vulnerable, imperfect, but contended. But, just like Manav, we tend to be perfect in whatever we do and in the hunt for perfection, we do not accept our flaws. We end up making ourselves a person that society approves, but we don't adore.
Effects of not owning our real self:
Generates Displeasure
When we direct ourselves towards a goal differing from our interest, it creates dissatisfaction which results in procrastination, and low self-esteem.
Creates Self- Doubts
In search of perfection, we end up making comparisons and continuously analyze our doings. This makes us feel anxious about ourselves.
Kills the 'Me' Time
We keep on working tirelessly and being perfect at such a level that we forget to spare time for ourselves and keep striving till we get the desired results. While doing this, we skip those days of happiness and relaxation. While aiming for the large, we miss out on the little.
Self-hatred
In contrast to the glorified idea of perfection, failure, and imperfection are equally rejected. We criticize ourselves, and feel ashamed to be us.
Manav realized how these adverse effects were affecting him and soon he came across a book, 'The Gifts of Imperfection,' written by Brené Brown. The 10 guideposts in this book helped him in locating his love towards himself, his imperfections, and made him embrace them.
Interventions
Acknowledge your flaws
Cultivate authenticity and do not get bothered of what people think
“You must first be who you are, then do what you need to do, to have what you want.”
- Margaret Young
Be genuine to yourself. Know about your strengths and weaknesses. Accept them and make boundaries for yourself, and let go no matter what people think or talk about you and your goals, because you know the best for you.
Be self-compassionate and disown perfectionism
The notion of being perfect is self-destructive. Connect with yourself and nurture yourself with courage, compassion at tough times. Heal your wounds. Be kind to yourself.
Have a resilient spirit and let go of numbing and powerlessness
Preach spirituality, that is, have a belief in something bigger and mightier. Face your struggles by lighting up hope and critical awareness.
Be grateful and seek for joy
Be grateful for the happy moments that come your way. Living a wholehearted life doesn't mean to be happy all the time, it means to seek joy.
Cultivate intuition and trusting faith
Instead of waiting for one certain door to unlock, have trust in all the ways you've discovered with your experience and intellect.
Show up creativity without comparison
Try being creative and explore your skills. No one is born non-creative. Ending up with comparisons with others' work will be unjust for your skills. Cause you are born creative.
Play and rest
"The opposite of play is not working, it is depression.”
Play and rest are a part of our work. It's a necessity that helps us to work with potential in us. Give your body some physical and mental exercises.
Inherit calmness and stillness and let go of anxiety as a lifestyle
Breathe. See what is happening around you. Regulate yourself, and feel the emotions you are going through. Being calm helps in letting anxiety out.
Do meaningful work
Everyone is born with talents and gifts. Make use of them. You are here to live, not to provide. Showcase what you got, no matter how big or small it may be. Cherish it, use it, because it is about you!
Cultivate laughter, song, and dance
Garnish your life’s cake with a cherry of laughter, dance, and song! Take a moment (a couple more), let the sand fall off from between your fingers, be proud of what you did irrespective of the goal and celebrate the journey!
Takeaway Message
Hold on for the things you trust in, let go if it doesn’t nurture you, hold on when you feel tired, it doesn’t mean you are procrastinating, let go if your goal costs your mental peace. Don’t develop an image that doesn’t replicate you, just because you think that it's ideal or mandatory.
Imperfections make life worth living!
After all, what is the point in living a life where we need to invest time in tweaking our lifestyle?
Count the steps you've climbed no matter how long the staircase is. You've fallen, risen, and sometimes, just stayed there. In this process, you've come across innumerable flaws and scars of yours. Embrace them. Be you!
References
Inspired by the book 'The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of who you think you're supposed to be and Embrace who you are,' by Brené Brown.
https://blog.12min.com/the-gifts-of-imperfection-pdf-summary/
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