“ One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on” -Aphra Benn
Love is an enigma. If you're loved well, it makes you the finest and happiest person on the planet. However, the pain it bears has the ability to disturb you from within. Life appears to be more enjoyable when shared. Despite this, no human endeavor appears to be more laden with obstacles and challenges than human relationships.
Relationships need a significant amount of effort. Some relationships need more effort than others. We are not clones; we are individuals, and some people in relationships will have more issues or arguments than others. We're willing to put in the effort to keep these relationships because we value them. Strong relationships take work. In a healthy relationship, There’s mutual understanding between the partners. Sure, you may argue from time to time or encounter other roadblocks, but you normally make decisions together, discuss any issues freely and genuinely enjoy each other's company. A healthy relationship is one that is safe, one in which we can be ourselves without fear, one in which we feel at ease and secure.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is one in which the toxic partner engages in acts that are emotionally and more often than not, physically destructive. A toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy. It makes us habitable to people’s bad idiosyncrasies and that tricks our mind into believing that we are not worthy of something better. Insecurity, self-centeredness, power, and control are all characteristics of a toxic relationship. Staying in such a relationship puts our lives in jeopardy. To call a toxic relationship dysfunctional is an understatement at best.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
When you're in a toxic relationship, it can be difficult to recognize the red signs that appear. Sometimes even if we know we turn a blind eye because we don’t want the relationship to end. Regardless, don’t ignore the signs.
Abuse and violence
While a relationship does not have to be abusive in order to be toxic, all abusive relationships are toxic. Abuse can take many forms, including emotional, verbal, financial, sexual, and physical abuse.
Toxic communication
He or she will make fun of you, insinuating that whatever you say that conveys your views, beliefs, or desires is ridiculous or stupid. Even if you ask your toxic partner to stop demeaning you, he or she will continue to do so, occasionally masking the behavior with the phrase "I'm only kidding." "Are you unable to accept a joke?" The issue is that they are not joking, and what they are doing is not amusing. The toxic partner seeks complete control over the decision-making process.
Jealousy
He or she would not be happy about your success. They will constantly drag your weakness and remind you of it every day.
Controlling behavior
This toxic person only keeps a small percentage of his or her promises. In reality, these people are trying to manipulate you by keeping you guessing about what they're going to do. They make you feel like they own you, trying to control every part of your life.
Lack of self-care
When you're in a toxic relationship, it's easy to neglect your typical self-care routines. You might stop doing things you used to enjoy, disregard your health, and give up your leisure time. This could be because you don't have the energy to do these things or because your partner doesn't like it when you do your own thing.
Walking on eggshells
You're afraid that bringing up problems would cause a lot of conflicts, so you become conflict-averse and keep your problems to yourself.
How to leave a Toxic Relationship?
It takes courage to get out of something, especially a toxic relationship. The feelings you experience will overwhelm you, but growth starts when you’re out of your comfort zone.
Let someone know
Seek the assistance of a family member or friend to assist you with the process. If you feel threatened, alert the local authorities that you are going to need support.
Make a pact with yourself
Make a promise to yourself that “It’s time you treat yourself right, you are worthy of healthy relationships. You’ll never settle for something less.” Follow this pact, don’t let your loneliness drive you back to toxic people.
Seek Professional Help
It will take work and time to leave and heal from a toxic relationship. Seek support groups or counselors who have dealt with similar challenges. A therapist can be an excellent, unbiased resource for guiding you and holding you accountable for setting and achieving your objectives. If you're divorcing, you'll also need the help of an expert family law attorney.
Cut ties from your toxic partner
Toxic people are smart and they might use emotional blackmail to get you to return. If you've decided to leave your partner, don't communicate with them in any way unless you have children and need to co-parent. Only talk about the kids in this situation. If you need to get a restraining order, go ahead and do it.
It takes guts to grow out of a toxic relationship. Always choose yourself over other people, no one needs you more than yourself. Never adjust your boundaries for someone who disrespects you, adjust your life to their absence. Just a Reminder:-
No more settling for scraps.
No more bare minimums.
You deserve much more.
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