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How to find the ‘one’? Choosing the right therapist

Perhaps, you are thinking of joining therapy? After much debate with your loved ones, you are finally convinced it’s time. But now that you are certain, you are engulfed by a monstrous wave of uncertainty. Where do I start? How do I get the help needed? What if the counselor judges me? Rina’s counselor cared nothing about confidentiality. What if I too become a case study at a fancy dinner party? How do I find the right therapist? The one that truly understands and hears me?


Such doubts are common in anyone accessing mental health services. Hard is the decision to join therapy, but harder still is the process of selecting the appropriate therapist. Therapy relies heavily on the therapist-client relationship, and anything that violates its sanctity is bound to become an obstacle in recovery and growth. Here are some factors to consider when making the crucial leap of faith that revitalizes your being and sense of purpose in life.


Why choose a therapist with care?

One sleep-walks into choosing a physician based on family preferences or recommendations of a rather wise aunt. Why can’t we use the same decision-making for the selection of a therapist? This is because therapy faces some very special challenges -


Scams and Accreditation

The Indian accreditation and licensing rules are ill-formulated. Therefore, some people provide mental health services without the required qualifications. Recently, a fashion influencer faced severe backlash for offering paid ‘therapy’ services without any psychology background.

Variety in therapeutic modalities

Various forms of therapy look at a problem from different perspectives. Practitioners of cognitive-behavioral therapy target thoughts and behaviors, while psychodynamic therapists emphasize insight. Some approaches are suited for certain people while others are better for others. Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all remedy. Therefore, it’s necessary to consider one’s fit with a therapist and their modality.


Nature of therapeutic relationship

The usefulness of therapy relies on the therapeutic alliance. This determines how likely the client is to reveal their innermost issues. If there is a mismatch between client and therapist, the client may avoid talking about problematic issues. This can prevent any real change or growth from occurring.


Tell-a-tale signs that your therapist isn’t right for you

Whether you are already in therapy or on your way to the first session, here are some signs which indicate a client-therapist mismatch-


1. The therapist engages in behavior that seems unethical

2. You have a dual relationship with the therapist i.e the therapist is your friend, coworker, or relative.

3. The therapist violates confidentiality in situations other than the ones where a breach of confidentiality is permitted.

4. The therapist uses experimental treatments or techniques that are not empirically validated.

5. There is a disregard for your values and you feel judged and shamed.

6. The therapist engages in extensive self-disclosure.

7. The therapist doesn’t seem entirely attentive in the session and forgets important details that you mentioned.

8. You feel worse after the session.

9. You feel uneasy and repeatedly get a negative vibe.

How do you find the ‘one’?


Every solution begins with the right questions

Here are some questions to keep in mind while choosing a therapist-

  1. Is the therapeutic modality of the counselor appropriate for your problem?

  2. Is the therapist part of a mental health organization that follows an established code of ethics?

  3. Do the fees, duration, and frequency of visits fit your requirements?

  4. How long has the therapist been practicing?

  5. Does the therapist have any experience in treating people with your problems?

  6. How effective/valid are the treatments used by the therapist?

Understand your needs and expectations

No search can progress without clarity about needs and expectations. It is important to understand one’s problem while choosing a specialist. In case of serious disorders requiring medication, consulting a psychiatrist may be the best option. One can consult a clinical psychologist for disorders like OCD, panic attacks, PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. A counselor is more effective for emotional, social, or occupational concerns that are part of everyday life. Group therapy and support groups are preferred by those who need a supportive network of people. If a specific therapy like cognitive therapy, art therapy is especially useful with people having similar problems, it’s best to consult an expert in that area.

Consider whom you might relate to best

Everyone is comfortable opening up to different people. Three major characteristics to consider are - age, gender, and religion. Would you prefer talking to someone older or someone younger? Would it be easier for male or female therapists to understand the issue? Or would it be better to talk to a non-binary therapist? Would the religious affiliation of the therapist matter a lot? Along with these characteristics, it is important to consider the therapist’s experience and years of practice as well.


Check the right sources

Some sources which can help in the search are as follows-

  1. Insurance directory: Insurance companies often have a directory of therapists who accept insurance.

  2. Recommendations by friends and loved ones: Friends who have been in therapy may be able to provide realistic guidance based on previous experience.

  3. Referrals from doctors: Primary care providers are often aware of other practitioners specializing in different areas.

  4. Mental health organizations: These have a directory of professionals practicing in the field.

  5. Online therapist directories: Therapist directories often provide listings based on experience, education, treatment specialty, and location of the therapist.

  6. Online therapy platforms: These websites curate a list of therapists based on details given by users regarding their problems.

Beware of quacks and frauds!

It is important to verify a therapist’s credentials before entering into therapy. This ensures that only qualified professionals practice. A clinical psychologist should be licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI). Counselors should usually have an M.A/Msc. in counseling from a recognized university or a PG.Dip which is RCI recognized.


Therapy can be expensive, consider finances

According to the Mental Healthcare Act (2017), insurance companies must provide mental health insurance. However, this has been poorly implemented and there is widespread non-compliance. Nevertheless, one can access other options for affordable mental healthcare like NGOs or University healthcare centers. The latter include counselors under training who are supervised by qualified professionals. Certain therapists also provide a sliding scale fee policy wherein costs are adjusted based on one’s income.


Evaluate your decision

Monitoring your responses to therapy can help understand if you have made the right choice. Do you feel validated, heard, and respected in therapy? How does your body respond to the therapy session? Are there signs of tension? In case you feel dissatisfied, it may be advisable to switch therapists.


A concluding note

Finding a therapist often seems long-drawn and painstaking, but the right choice means half battle won. We all need to be seen, heard, acknowledged, and validated. This is possible only if we have the right bond with someone equally committed to the process of discovery and growth. Finding the ‘right therapist’ is not just a question of labyrinthine qualifications, insurance, and directories, it is also a question of who we are deep within and what we need to grow and flourish!

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