Kids are accomplishing exciting new things at both periods, but they are also testing limits and screaming tantrums.
Both age groups face the same key developmental task: children must begin to draw away from their parents and demand their independence. It is no surprise that people occasionally act as though they are the center of the world. This makes parenting more difficult, especially when teenagers are starting to make decisions that have actual consequences, such as school, friends, and driving, not to mention substance abuse and sex. Teens, on the other hand, are still learning to control their emotions, thus they are prone to taking chances and making rash judgments.
Why Talking is Essential?
Effective monitoring entails being the type of parent whose teen chooses to disclose information about their lives. Parents want their children to know they can rely on them to watch out for themselves. To realize that parents provide a safety net – allowing them to stretch without going too far. Parents must establish the type of connection in which being truthful makes sense. The way they listen conveys to teenagers that they are free to express themselves. Controlling their responses demonstrates to them that they can speak without fear of being condemned.
Communication Strategies
Control Reactions
The first step in properly monitoring teenagers is learning to watch your own emotions. Young individuals learn to bounce ideas off their parents when their parents act as sounding boards, listening intently and providing assistance when requested. They enable parents to assist their children in imagining how events could unfold. Furthermore, to assist them in making judgments. When you respond aggressively, on the other hand, they cease saying things that they believe would make you uncomfortable or furious.
Being a good listener is essential
Adolescents want to be seen by adults (even though they sometimes push us away). Respect comes from good listening. Giving someone your undivided attention is what it is all about. Teens can become aware of their knowledge by listening and then reflecting on what they hear. Listening with respect and without judgment does not imply agreement with what is being stated. It is all about establishing a secure zone devoid of interruption, inquiry, or response.
Little Reaction
Just as active listening allows you to watch your adolescent, responding to what they say shuts off communication. When we make snap judgments, express our concerns or level accusations, our teenagers stop talking. When we try to fix their issues, they stop sharing. Non-reaction is the name of the game. Maintain your composure and priorities listening.
Switch off Parental Controls
"My child is in danger!" exclaims the parent alert. It prompts parents to rush to their children's aid before the phrase is finished. We all too frequently strive to manage our teenagers to save them. "Mom, I met this girl..." automatically translates to "You're too young to date!" That may have been a chance to discuss healthy sexuality, but it isn't. "Dad, what would you say if a buddy invites you to go drunk with him?" becomes "I knew it, Raghav is a bad influence on you." Look for new friends!" This parent blew an excellent opportunity to talk about dealing with peer pressure and the dangers of mind-altering drugs.
Don't be a Pessimist
Whenever teenagers discuss issues that worry us, our automatic response is to be on high alert. Everything is transformed into a possible disaster that must be resolved. "I could earn a C- in physics this term," Mom and Dad respond, "My child can never fail!" or "How will you get in college!" Sadly, because their teenagers do not want to deal with the controversy, these parents will not hear about grades.
Avoid Excessive Empathy
When parents over-empathize and take on their child's grief as their own, they limit future sharing. "I had a tremendous quarrel with Shalini, Mom." I despise her!" "I can't say I blame you! I've never been fond of her. She was not kind to you! I despise her mother as well." Here's the issue. Shalini is back to being her closest buddy the next day. However, because she chose sides, this parent may never know. His or her daughter may be too ashamed to admit that her perspective and friendship have shifted once again.
Provide Beneficial Criticism
Subtle signals may have a significant impact. Adolescents have extremely sensitive senses and are quickly influenced by criticism. Fear of disappointing or being judged by their parents may prevent children from communicating more. Parents may inadvertently diminish, ridicule, or disgrace their children during everyday talks. When parents' feedback focuses on assisting them in shaping their ideas, their resilience increases and they share more frequently.
Takeaway Message
The above approaches can be used for light or intense talks, and it may be useful to test alternative techniques because certain strategies will perform better in particular contexts than others. Furthermore, it's a good idea to start working on improving your parent-teen communication before you notice any difficulties, so you'll have a toolbox on hand. If you've done everything and still haven't gotten your adolescent to chat, it may be time to call in reinforcements. This might be the other parent, a relative, an older sibling, a family friend, a doctor, or another mental health professional. You might try reaching out to another trusted adult or adolescent, if your teen has a good relationship with them to assist you to start the talks.
References
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