The foundation of relationships lies in honesty, trust, communication, respect, loyalty, and commitment. Good communication opens the path to greater intimacy. Love languages is one of the techniques to improve communication.
What are love languages?
Love languages are ways that describe how people like to receive and express themselves in a relationship. Originally convened by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1995, he states every person has a different love language, or a person’s way of giving and receiving love. According to him, there are five love languages which are-
Words of Affirmation
In essence, it is saying supportive things to your partner. Words of affirmation refer to expressing love through spoken words, praise or appreciation. Another way of putting it is an expression of affection through verbal communication that is supportive, encouraging, appreciative.
This can be done by giving your partner love notes, uplifting quotes, cute text messages, complimenting a person, or pointing out how well they are doing. Words often make us feel valued, appreciated, and good about ourselves. Positive words have the power to make us feel competent which leads the way to a healthy relationship.
Quality Time
This is spending meaningful time with your partner. The emphasis is on “quality” over “quantity”. By this, it means not just watching a show while glued to your phones. It is giving your full undivided attention, and spending time doing things you both like, it can be as simple as talking. Eye contact and listening are essential. This makes way for a meaningful connection. Establishing what quality time means to each other is also important. One may feel alone even when spending time with each other. There must be a connection to not feel lonely.
Physical Touch
Just as words of affirmation are the verbal expression of love, physical touch is the physical expression of love. This is one of the most common and well-known forms of affection. Physical touch focuses more on intimacy. As infants and toddlers, touch is one of the first forms of communication.
This can be as simple as holding hands, hugging, giving a massage, or cuddling. You may also often read about the benefits of hugging. Touch is crucial in creating and strengthening a relationship. Conflict resolution is often also done through physical touch where couples make up after a fight through hugging, kissing, or other forms of physical touch.
Acts of Service
Acts of Service is doing helpful deeds for your partner. It is a selfless act. This form of non-verbal love language can be exhausting and time-consuming. It is doing something your partner needs without them saying it to you.
Like doing the dishes, running errands, cooking when they are having a hard time. It is all about noticing the needs of your partner and doing something. Acts of service make a person feel cared for. The positive feelings created by compassionate acts help reinforce selfless behaviors.
Gift Giving
This is the most common love language. It is expressing love through the giving of gifts. May seem very simple, but it is not. It is not simply giving gifts, but the thought and effort that has gone to choose and give that gift. This may also seem materialistic, however, the understanding behind this is that the individual who receives the gift will cherish it, however, small. They will be reminded of how much they are loved. It is the thought that counts.
Importance
It is common to feel disconnected from your partner. This may stem from the misinterpretation of intentions or affection from each other.
With the identification of these love languages, it is easier to identify the needs of one another. Love languages promote sensitivity to each other’s needs.
It creates empathy for the feelings of others, maintains intimacy through the expression of affection. And most importantly, a healthy relationship aids in the growth of an individual as well as together.
Thus, it is important to identify your love language. There are various ways to identify- online quizzes, sitting down with your partner, and identifying. However, all problems will not be solved through the identification of love languages. Some problems may need the help of professionals.
References
P. (2021, July 12). Love Languages and the Psychology Behind It. Psychreg. https://www.psychreg.org/love-languages/
University Staff. (2017, February 14). The Psychology Behind the 5 Love Languages. UAGC | University of Arizona Global Campus. https://www.uagc.edu/blog/the-psychology-behind-the-5-love-languages
What Are the Five Love Languages? (2021, October 25). Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538
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