Rejection anxiety is a powerful worry that can have far-reaching consequences in our lives. When we find ourselves in circumstances that could potentially lead to rejection, most of us feel nervous. But for some people, the dread becomes overwhelming.
People with a fear of rejection dread not being liked, being abandoned, not fitting in, or being alone. They may suffer from low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and a fear of humiliation, and they may spend a significant amount of time and energy thinking about what others think of them. They may also frequently disregard their own needs or allow others to take advantage of them in order to feel loved.
There are a variety of reasons for this worry. Untreated fear of rejection can develop over time, limiting a person's ability to do things they want to do.
What Causes the Fear of Rejection?
The fear of rejection is an understandable fear that can be considered a natural part of being human. Some characteristics of it, like the fear of public speaking, are common and anticipated among most people. But it becomes problematic when these fears begin to significantly affect a person's life. Dread of rejection, as a result of the fear of embarrassing oneself, not being liked (or worse, being disliked), or not being able to connect with others, can all contribute to social anxiety.
Fear of rejection might also be caused by other mental health issues. Rumination and compulsive thinking about whether someone is loved or accepted by their romantic interests, classmates, or workplace, for example, can be caused by OCD.
PTSD has been shown to stimulate not only the fight or flight response but also the fawn response, which is linked to rejection dread. Fawn is the frantic attempt to avoid conflict or rejection by attempting to smooth things over and pleasing others.
Signs You're Scared of Rejection
A person who is terrified of rejection may find themselves in situations where they prioritise the needs and desires of others over their own. They may be hesitant to voice their opinions or express their thoughts, or they may find it difficult to set limits and say no. They may also have a proclivity to stay in harmful relationships for an extended period.
Fear of rejection can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including:
Having a people-pleaser personality
Taking on an excessive number of obligations
Having difficulty saying no.
Working excessively hard
Hiding your genuine feelings/thoughts from others
Continuing to be in unhealthy relationships
The fear of failing
Perfectionism
Codependency
Putting up with other people's bad behaviour
Effects of Fear of Rejection
Rejection anxiety may wreak havoc on personal and professional relationships. People who are afraid of rejection may project themselves onto others and consequently place unreasonable demands on them. They may be clinging, require continual reassurance, grow jealous or suspicious of others, or harshly compare themselves to others. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which has been linked to ADHD, can emerge from a severe fear of rejection.
Fear of Rejection in a Career
People's job experiences can be hampered by a fear of rejection. They may miss out on good opportunities, hesitate to ask for a raise, address necessary changes in work duties, or stay in their current position out of fear.
Fear of Rejection in a Relationship
In romantic relationships, fear of rejection can lead to a lack of interest in, or withholding of sentiments from, a possible partner. One may also feel negative emotions like jealousy, insecurity, and neediness. To avoid this dread, people may push others away before even approaching them.
Feeling of Rejection in a Social Setting
Many people suffer from social anxiety and the fear of rejection in social situations. This may cause a person to shun social situations or to isolate themselves against a wall, avoiding any and all contact with people. Worrying about not knowing what to say, saying something stupid, forgetting someone's name, or feeling awkward are some of the fears that may arise.
Feeling of Rejection in a New Friendship
It can be difficult to make new acquaintances. People who are afraid of rejection are less likely to put themselves out there, meet new people, and form friendships. Making new friends necessitates a degree of vulnerability. People who are afraid of rejection may avoid these situations to protect themselves, but this ultimately further isolates them.
How to Get Over Your Fear of Rejection
It is possible to improve one's ability to deal with rejection. To escape the vicious cycle of isolation and avoidance that keeps people stuck, afraid, and lonely, it is essential to exercise self-care and build self-confidence. When a person begins to think that they are enough and stops relying on others for their self-worth, the fear of rejection fades away.
Accept It
Accepting rejection and understanding that there is only one way to deal with this fear. People frequently criticise themselves for their emotions, which only serves to exacerbate the problem.
Create Positive Self-talk Habits
Positive self-talk can reorganise the brain's pathways to become more positive. Positive self-talk has been shown to improve happiness and confidence. It may appear ridiculous, but it works! Use a mantra like "I am enough" or "I am capable of great things."
Face Your Fear
Rather than avoiding situations where you might be rejected, concentrate on putting yourself out there and confronting your fears. You'll notice that the repercussions are less anxiety-provoking than you imagined as you continuously encourage yourself to face your fear. You'll also have more faith in your ability to succeed.
Don't Allow Rejection to Define You
Various characteristics distinguish a person, and everyone has their gifts. Fear of rejection is a personality trait, not the entire personality of a person. Remember, just because you're afraid does not mean you should accept it as part of your identity. Instead, you should try to get rid of that trait.
Increase Your Confidence
People who are more confident are more self-assured and feel more grounded. Confident people are more able to be themselves because they understand that their worth is not based on the opinions of others.
Have Compassion for Yourself
Self-compassion entails treating oneself with the same care that one would give a close friend. Keep in mind that persons who are afraid of rejection experience worry, uncertainty, and fear daily. It's not easy to live with all of this. Put your hands over your heart and send yourself some compassion for what you've gone through.
Allow yourself to be free of guilt
People who feel guilty about their history often feel horrible about themselves and fear rejection or desertion from others. Making apologies and letting go of guilt may feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Meditation
Meditate regularly. People who meditate are better at being present in the moment, and it can help them avoid being engrossed in fears and negative self-talk. Begin with 2 minutes every day and work your way up. There are a plethora of excellent, free materials available to help you get started with meditation.
Meet New People
The more you do something, the easier and more comfortable it becomes. Begin by introducing yourself to new individuals. Shake their hand and inquire about their identity. This may appear to be a simple task, but it can be terrifying for someone who suffers from social anxiety or a fear of rejection.
Exercise
Exercise has been demonstrated to reduce stress, boost endorphins, and boost self-esteem. All of these advantages can help you overcome your fear of rejection and boost your self-esteem. To gain these benefits, a reasonable rule of thumb is to start with 20–30 minutes of exercise most days, but even a 5-minute stroll can make a difference!
Conclusion
It may be time to seek counselling if you notice that your fear of rejection is negatively influencing your life and causing you misery. This can help you examine and better understand some of the underlying causes of your fear, as well as identify more effective coping mechanisms.
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