“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” - Sigmund Freud
Pent-up emotions are repressed and suppressed emotions. Repressed emotions refer to emotions that a person unconsciously avoids, whereas suppressed emotions are the emotions you intentionally avoid. We suppress emotions when we don't know what to do about them or how to deal with them, or we're too occupied to deal with them presently.
To make it more clear, for instance you had a massive fight with your parents or friend one morning, but you have an important exam that day, so you decide to keep those feelings aside and focus on your exam. It's a good temporary solution for that moment, but it's critical to not forget to deal with those feelings later on. Pent-up emotions can be any feelings from hatred, happiness, sorrow to anger. These emotions eventually need to be released or dealt with or else they're going to create an issue like feelings of vulnerability and loss of control. One way some people choose to deal with these suppressed emotions is by shifting to anger, resulting in increasing aggression which is undoubtedly not good for neither that person nor the people around them.
Causes of pent-up anger
Often, pent-up anger, also called repressed anger, can be triggered by
factors such as getting mad at a specific situation or person, contemplating on a complicated problem or hurtful memory. The cause of pent-up anger is suppressing emotions and that could be for several reasons:
Fear that their anger will get out of control and harm others
Trying to stick to moral values
Assuming their feelings will be invalidated or dismissed
Fear of being judged and scolded
Not wanting to cause any conflict or difficulty in relationships
Suppressing anger may be a temporary solution as mentioned earlier, but it's very likely that it will become destructive to the person withholding it and those who are around them.
How to deal with pent-up emotions?
Here are a few effective methods that might help you deal with those emotions you've been suppressing. And remember, healing is a journey that takes time and effort, one cannot fix something in a snap of a finger.
Writing or journaling
Writing and journaling has proven to be a very effective method to identify the emotions that you've been struggling with. While journaling, try to explain what's going on in your mind, like “what's happening” “why is it happening” “why I'm burying these emotions” and “what can I do about it.” It is a great way to let go of that burden without even talking to someone if you don't feel like doing that.
Relaxation techniques
Relaxation exercises will help you clear your mind and give you time to think about the situation in a proper, peaceful way. You can do relaxation exercises such as :
Deep breathing: As you focus on your breathing deeply and slowly, your heart rate slows down and your body relaxes.
Meditation : It involves practices to sharpen your concentration, connect to your body and allow you to accept difficult emotions.
Consult a therapist
Opting for individual therapy is an extremely effective approach to deal with those suppressed emotions. This allows you to openly mention your hardships without any fear of being judged or invalidated. Therapy is by far the best method to process your bottled up emotions.
Social support
Having support can get you through anything. You can talk to people on social media, find people like you, or talk to your friends and family. This allows you to manage your struggles in the long run.
Conclusion
We often set aside our feelings in the fear of offending or hurting someone. We ignore them at almost every opportunity we get, bottling them up in the hopes that we never have to deal with them again. Like it's a trash bin that's going to be thrown away and not dealt with ever again. But sadly, that's not how things work in real life, these negative emotions drag us down and eventually lead to a total meltdown.
It's completely okay to feel your emotions but what's not okay is to let your emotions take over you, address them and deal with them. Nobody can do that for you. Only you've the power to improve things and create a better life for yourself.
References
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