Qualities of an effective counsellor

“In my early professional years of therapy, I was asking the question: How can I treat or cure or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: “How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for their personal growth”? - Carl R. Rogers

Who is a counsellor?

• A counsellor is a person trained to give guidance regarding one’s psychological or mental issues.

• They provide people with ‘counselling’. Counselling is mostly dedicated to a client’s self-understanding, decision-making resources, risk-taking and personal growth.

However just having a degree in psychology, or a license to become a practitioner does not make one a good counsellor. To be a counsellor of value who can effectively work towards and make the client’s life better is a good counsellor. For that, certain qualities are needed in the person. These qualities can qualify as “soft skills”.

Empathetic and compassionate

The first and foremost quality a counselor should have is empathy. According to Freud “Empathy is feeling the client’s pain as if it was your own, without losing the ‘as if’ quality”. Placing yourself in your client’s shoes is something a good counselor should be able to do. Unless you do not understand what one is going through, how are you going to help them overcome it?

It is extremely important the client senses that you care for them. It might not be possible to fit into their shoes all the time, so you must show that you at least understand what they are going through.

Trust

An effective counselor should know how to earn the client’s trust. In counseling, a person needs to be honest and open about their feelings, and naturally, it will be hard to do if they do not trust you. The client should trust you enough to reveal their true personalities and let you in on their ‘secrets’ that they might not be comfortable sharing with others.

Patience

As a counselor, one should have the patience to let the client open up at their own pace. The client might take time to understand and process information. They will take time to accept some things and as a counselor, you should be patient enough to give them that time.

Non-judgemental and respectful

Counselors will come across clients who might have done things that the counselor does not agree with. But it is not the counselor’s job to decide what’s wrong or right, you have to keep your values, beliefs, attitudes and struggles aside and remain neutral in every situation. You have to be respectful of the client’s beliefs, values and struggles.

Appreciating diversity

You will encounter people from all walks of life. People from different socioeconomic backgrounds, religious groups, ethnicity caste. Differences in gender expression, identity and sexuality. You should accept and appreciate them for who they are without any bias or prejudice.

Observant

You need to be a keen observer to decode all verbal and non-verbal communication of the client. Reading between the lines, analyzing their facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, mood, walk, body posture etc will help you get a better insight into your client.

Communication skills

There are 2 aspects to effective communication, active listening and active responding.

Active listening is when you give the client your undivided attention. Provide them with a listening ear. They feel heard and validated and do not worry about boring you or being unusually talkative.

Active responding is as important as active listening. Respond with certain verbal clues, like ‘hmm’ ‘ahh’ ‘I see’ etc. to reassure your client that you are listening, processing and empathizing with them.

Interpersonal skills

Counselors need to have refined interpersonal skills in order to build rapport with their clients. Which will in turn help them to develop trust.

Confidentiality

A counselor should know how to keep things confidential. Maintaining confidentiality will help the client trust you and you will be able to build a better rapport with them.

Flexibility

Every client is going to be different. You will have to plan the treatment according to each client’s needs. You cannot follow one strict rigid plan for everyone and expect it to work.

Hope and optimism

Hope is a great motive. As long as you strike a balance between realism and hope, set realistic goals that motivate clients and stimulate a more optimistic attitude, you will be an effective counselor. This is why positive psychology is such an important field.

Self-aware

The counselor needs to be equally aware of themselves as much as about the client. They should know how to separate their personal problems from their clients, and should not let their frustration and negativity reflect in the treatment. They should strive to be in a better mental space themselves as well.

Confidence

The utmost important quality is that the counselor must have confidence in their skills. A client has come to you for help so use your knowledge and provide them with your assistance. It does not matter whether you have been practicing for 20 years or 2 months, be confident in the service you provide. But at the same time do know when to step down, if you are not able to help the client better their health, step down and let another counselor take over. This will not lower your status as a counselor, but will increase your sense of responsibility.

As a counselor, you can change a person’s life, and you can help them lead a much more healthy life, but if you do not perform your duty properly you can cause more harm than good. So work on your soft skills, practice to harness these traits and improve your effectiveness, so as to provide people with the best service you can provide.

References

• https://post.edu/blog/the-traits-that-will-help-you-thrive-as-a-counselor/

• https://www.ccu.edu/blogs/cags/2017/03/7-characteristics-of-an-effective-counselor/

• https://positivepsychology.com/characteristics-effective-counselors/

• https://www.oerafrica.org/FTPFolder/Website%20Materials/Health/KCN-Health-OER/Unit3/002.html

• https://ikon.edu.au/ten-important-attributes-counsellor/

• https://work.chron.com/list-skills-needed-become-effective-counselor-5100.html

• https://optimistminds.com/20-qualities-of-a-good-counselor/

• https://www.betterlyf.com/articles/inspirational-quotes/counselor-quotes/#:~:text=Counselor%20Quotes%205%20%E2%80%93%20%E2%80%9CIt%20doesn,you%20don't%20stop.%E2%80%9D&text=Counselor%20Quotes%206%20%E2%80%93%20%E2%80%9CThe%20wilderness,a%20therapy%20for%20the%20soul.%E2%80%9D&text=Counselor%20Quotes%207%20%E2%80%93%20%E2%80%9CThe%20world's,been%20consistent%20in%20their%20efforts.%E2%80%9D